The MTV Video Music Awards will be the most music that MTV will play all year (except for that random time at like 6am when they play like an hours worth) and at the same time the biggest masturbatory award show known to man. Even worse than the Oscars, where the Hollywood elite pat themselves on the back for voting for “artsy” (read, no one in the general public has probably seen the movie) movies. The Video Music Awards have a little bit of the opposite affect, they basically take the artists we have heard about ten times a day, every single day for the last year and give them awards. It’s like telling Barney Stinson he’s awesome, he already knows, sure he’ll take the compliment but he already knows. As if giving them our money and play time wasn’t enough. We know that Lady Gaga is actually talented but for some reason hides behind what she considers to be “fashion” that no one in their right mind would ever actually wear out in the general public. Ke$ha claimed to be wearing a trash bag she bought at The Home Depot and made into a dress herself, she also tries way to hard to be “rock and roll” (aka Mick Jagger) and just looks silly. Nor can she sing, but damn if her songs aren’t catchy.
Who didn’t see Taylor Swift taking a jab at Kanye West coming?! I didn’t! Just kidding. Of course she was going to and it was boring, lets just replay what we already saw last year and about a billion times on YouTube. Though she looked amazing, I got bored with the song. She too was lip syncing but she always does, she simply cannot sing live. Of course Eminem wore a hoodie and then promptly left the arena, who would want Sacha Baron Cohen putting his ass your face again? Justin Bieber lip synched, of course, but go on Twitter and all the Biebz fans (enough to warrant an entire server rack at Twitter head quarters) defended him, saying he needed to save his voice for touring. There is no voice to actually save, it’s always going to be modified via Auto-Tune. Usher reminded us that since 1984 there has been absolutely nothing original in dancing (in terms of pop music) that hasn’t been done/created by Michael Jackson. Though he’s a talented singer. I dislike Paramore and Hayley Williams, but that’s me. I won’t say anything about it. Bruno Mars is simply amazing. Who watched Lady Gaga randomly belt out a part of a new tune at the end? She can totally sing, I wish she would do more acoustic work and not be so out there (witness, the meat dress and everything else she wore). Comment from my friend Amber on Facebook went as such: “Lady Gaga is killing it.” I made a bad pun about her headdress thing killing someone, I’ll spare you the gory comment, but it’s true.
Kanye West is still an amazing producer, he makes awesome beats and is always doing something interesting (creatively). He’s trying to move past the whole Taylor Swift thing, glad she is too…
There was nothing outrageous at the VMA’s this year, though MTV will bill the inevitable thirteen thousand re-runs between now and Monday as being the most daring VMA’s ever! So much shocking stuff happened! (No there wasn’t, it was lame.) Chelsea Handler, as awesome as she usually is, was boring hosting this thing, she played it safe. If you want to see someone take risks and host a great show, find a copy of this past years ESPY awards, Seth Meyers hosted the heck out that thing. He made fun of everything, not caring who he offended it seemed. Thankfully, Ellen, our first presenter came out and saved Chelsea.
I watch these things because I’m a pop music/culture whore. I long to one day be as dorky and cool as Rob Sheffield. I watched this thing with my girlfriend who commented that after 2 hours it just felt like the show ran too long. We’re English majors (I’m a film option, she’s a writing option) and are subjected to lengthy books/movies/etc. I mean she’s A.D.D. sometimes but still at 2 hours it was the length of a movie, but still felt longer than the Oscar’s. That’s saying something.
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